Life still sucks...but it does get better!

Entry #14

I spent Ken's birthday in quiet reflection.  I went over to the place where his life ended that horrible day and wished him Oh Happy Day like I did every year.  Remembered birthdays gone by and the fun times we had. 


One of his favorites was his 50th we spent in Pasadena.  Little weekend getaway with no pomp and circumstance.  I wanted to throw a big party and he would have none of it.  He had no desire to hear all the "over the hill" jokes about turning 50.  Ken never wanted to be the subject of any joke.  He always took it personally...even when things were said in jest.  Always had to be careful not to offend him when we were kidding around.  I realize now how sad it was that he seemed to always feel like people were making fun of him.  Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Breaks my heart.

Write a new comment: (Click here)
Characters left: 160
DONE Sending...
See all comments

| Reply

Latest comments

01.10 | 11:30

It will be 13 years ago on 10/4 when my boyfriend chose suicide as a way out too. Thank you for sharing! ~ peace, love & light.

14.04 | 06:43

Awesome blog. I am suicidal, on mess and see my shrink weekly. It helps to be reminded how much pain suicide inflicts on the family. thank you

04.08 | 09:31

My thoughts are with you. I had two nephews commit suicide. Bryant was 32 and Keith was 30. Why why why!!???

14.06 | 19:55

Ken's choice was not in anyway your fault. My step father of 33 years decided to hang himself at the age of 91. Heartbreaking, the grief is different- as stated

You liked this page