Life still sucks...but it does get better!

Entry #18

Today I turned 50 and Ken wasn't here to enjoy my mom's Black Forest Cake. It was the one exception he made to sugary treats.


I wanted him to share my day. I wanted him to be here to tell my mom how good the cake was and hope she'd send the leftovers home with us.


There is a hole in my heart that Ken used to fill.  I think that hole will always be there now.  I love and miss him so much it hurts.

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Latest comments

01.10 | 11:30

It will be 13 years ago on 10/4 when my boyfriend chose suicide as a way out too. Thank you for sharing! ~ peace, love & light.

14.04 | 06:43

Awesome blog. I am suicidal, on mess and see my shrink weekly. It helps to be reminded how much pain suicide inflicts on the family. thank you

04.08 | 09:31

My thoughts are with you. I had two nephews commit suicide. Bryant was 32 and Keith was 30. Why why why!!???

14.06 | 19:55

Ken's choice was not in anyway your fault. My step father of 33 years decided to hang himself at the age of 91. Heartbreaking, the grief is different- as stated

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