I made it through THE HOLIDAYS...phew. While there were times that it wasn't easy, I just kept thinking that I didn't end my life so why should I stop living. I need to stop feeling mired in grief.
I need for it not to be at the forefront of my mind, although I know it will always be there lurking.
There are still times when I'll pick up the phone to call Ken or feel the knee-jerk
reaction to pick something up at the store for him. My therapist once told me that was my subconscious trying to make things "normal" again. I've forgotten what normal is...like the meme says...Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
But in spite of all the emotions still churning, I am getting stronger. It's a daily concentrated effort and I think it always will be, but it is happening. There is life after suicide that doesn't