Every day is better...

Entry #31

I have posted this before, but I truly feel it bears repeating, particularly for those of you whose loss is still new.  I found giving this to the people in my circle and those who had experienced a suicide loss to be very helpful.  I hope you find that to be the case as well.

 

BLESSED are they who recognize suicide grief is compounded; that we grieve the death of a beloved person, but first and foremost we grieve the cause of the death.

 

BLESSED are they who give us permission to mourn the loss of one dearly loved, free of judgment, censure, and shame.

 

BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our loved one's soul with the truth that God is all-knowing, all-loving, and all forgiving.

 

BLESSED are they who don’t offer the meaningless cliché “time heals” because for a long while the passing of time holds no meaning or value to us.

 

BLESSED are they who don’t say, “I know just how you feel,” but instead say, “I am here for you. I will not tire of your tears nor your words of sorrow and regret.”

 

BLESSED are they who have the patience and love to listen to our repetitive obsession with Why?. . . without offering useless answers or explanations.

 

BLESSED are they who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved by sharing memories of his goodness and times of fun, laughter, and happiness.

 

BLESSED are mental health care providers who explain to us that, very probably, our loved one died of a terminal illness called depression.

 

BLESSED are they who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the reminder that no one has enough power or control over another to cause them to end their life.

 

BLESSED are first responders to our loved one’s suicide who try to relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by assuring us, “This death is not your fault.”

 

BLESSED are they who lend acceptance to the value of the relationship we shared with the one who died by allowing us to speak of them and “what might have been.”

 

BLESSED are they who allow and encourage us to use our loved one’s death in a manner that gives our loss and grief meaning and purpose.

 

BLESSED are they who do not expect us to find “closure,” “grief resolution,” “recovery,” or to “be healed,” understanding that these terms define grief work in progress that will take the rest of our lives.

 

BLESSED are community caregivers who direct us to suicide bereavement support groups where our anguish is understood, our loss validated, and where we are encouraged by the example of others who have traveled this road before us.

 

BLESSED are seasoned suicide survivors, role models, who show us not only that we can survive, but in time, we will thrive…we will regain peace of mind, confidence, productivity and zest for living.

 

BLESSED are all who honor our loved ones by remembering how they lived rather than how they died.

 

A Suicide Survivor’s Beatitudes
By Larita Archibald - Colorado Springs, Colorado
Excerpt from Finding Peace Without All The Pieces, After a Loved One’s Suicide

 

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Latest comments

01.10 | 11:30

It will be 13 years ago on 10/4 when my boyfriend chose suicide as a way out too. Thank you for sharing! ~ peace, love & light.

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14.04 | 06:43

Awesome blog. I am suicidal, on mess and see my shrink weekly. It helps to be reminded how much pain suicide inflicts on the family. thank you

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04.08 | 09:31

My thoughts are with you. I had two nephews commit suicide. Bryant was 32 and Keith was 30. Why why why!!???

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14.06 | 19:55

Ken's choice was not in anyway your fault. My step father of 33 years decided to hang himself at the age of 91. Heartbreaking, the grief is different- as stated

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